Memorial website in the memory of your loved one

This site was created in loving memory of Micheal Fisher, who was born on November 11, 1983 and died as the result of a construction injury on January 25, 2006... with love and gratitude that he chose me as his mom...


“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
Quoted from “The Little Prince” written by Antoine de Saint-Expery 


Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.
-- Gaelic Blessing


Please light a candle or write a message in the Tributes and Condolences section. Micheal would appreciate it, and so will we.... 


I will never forget the day Micheal was born on November 11, 1983.  I was young and scared and alone, and oh, so excited.  

So, where do I start…

One of the most difficult things to do when you lose a child is to not deify them. Your mind wants to block out the fights and fibs, and the tears and anxiety they caused you at various times in their life. I want to try to give you a true sense of who Micheal was though, that does justice to Micheal’s life.

Above all else, Micheal had a wonderful sense of humour. No matter how angry I was (at him or anyone else), he could make me laugh. Wherever Micheal was, he lit up the room. The eternal clown, he was the life of the party and would go to great lengths to make you laugh. Half of the photos we have of him, he’s goofing off. He sometimes drove us crazy with teasing and getting his sisters going, but I don’t know anyone who took more teasing and ribbing, himself, with more good humour and grace. He could laugh at himself, but never laughed at others.

I don’t know of many people who knew Micheal who didn’t truly love him. He was always willing to help someone out, no matter what time of day or night. His phone would ring at 12:30 on a weeknight and someone would tell him their problems, and out the door he went. Even though he had to be up for work at 5:00 in the morning. He was always trying to take care of people. Everyone. He touched many lives during his 22 years.

He loved with no reservations. Openly. And he didn’t care who was around to see. How many teenage boys or young men would walk around to the driver’s door of their mom’s car to lean in and give her a big kiss and bear hug? In front of all of his friends, and without embarrassment or hesitation. Micheal did. Not just occasionally but every time.

He was always incredibly considerate. As a minor example, he always called if he was going to be late or wasn’t going to make it home. Both when he was an older teenager in high school and when he moved back home for a couple of months at 20 years old.

He adored his sisters from the moment they were born. They were normal kids and he wasn’t a saint, so there were plenty of fights and slamming doors in our house. But from the moment they entered his life he was their willing slave. And they knew it. Micheal loved all children though. His sisters, his cousins, his friends’ children and his girlfriends’ kids. He would have made a great father.

He always said that whatever he was going to do, he intended to be the best at it and he usually did just that. He took pride in his work and it showed.

Micheal loved horses. We ran my parent’s horse farm for two years and he was my right hand. My ex-husband drove transport and was gone 5 days at a time, and I relied on Micheal to do the better part of the chores. He took his responsibilities very seriously and was very conscientious and so good with the horses.

He also loved to read. Especially anything with the Arthurian Myths theme. He started reading late because he fell behind in primary grades until being diagnosed with A.D.D., but ended up being a voracious reader.

Well, now that I have elevated him up onto a pedestal, I should maybe bring him back down to earth, and let you see his human side….

Micheal had A.D.D., so focus was a big issue for him all of his life. He also had some problems with impulse control. He was able to learn how to overcome these as a young adult, but it was never easy for him. He was also an incurable slob as far as his personal space went. His bedroom was always a train-wreck, and so was the back of his vehicle. He drove us crazy with borrowing or using stuff (tools for instance), when he lived at home, and not putting things back when he was finished with it.

We used to think he was very irresponsible with his belongings, because he was never very concerned about where most of his stuff was. I’ve come to realize, by what he had kept, that it was more that the things he valued were of a sentimental nature, not material. Maybe I’m fooling myself and he was just irresponsible, but in retrospect, looking back at the whole picture, I don’t believe that’s the case.

Wherever you are now my precious baby, know how much you are loved and that you will always be alive in our hearts… Always. 

Love,
Mom


"I don't think of him every day;
I think of him every hour of every day."
-- Gregory Peck, in an interview
many years after his son's death

Please also visit the following website for Threads Of Life: Workplace Tragedy Family Support Association. They have helped me so much in my journey of healing, and helped me become an advocate for, and educate companies and organizations about, the importance of workplace safety and injury prevention. http://threadsoflife.ca/
Click here to see Micheal Fisher's
Family Tree
Tributes and Condolences
Uncle Micheal   / Krystal Spiess (Sister)
Well we just found out today we are expecting our second bundle of joy. I wanted to be the first to tell you. I know you watch over me but it's not the same I wanted to call you so bad just to tell you how lucky I am. You live in my heart and home ev...  Continue >>
Time  / Krystal Spiess (Sister)
I find myself thinking more and more about you as the days go by. You never leave my mind. How can you when I look at my son and see you. His laughter reminds me so much of you. It breaks my heart and makes it soar at the same time. If that makes any...  Continue >>
7 years   / Mom (Mom)
I found this and it says it all this year. I don't know who the author is or I would give them credit. "Through my grieving process, I don't want to be admired for my strength, Nor pitied for my weakness. I just want to be understood. So...  Continue >>
Christmas  / Mom
Another Christmas comes and goes. It gets “softer”, as they said it would, but you are not missed any less this year than you were the first Christmas without you. I have spent a lot of time the past couple of weeks thinking about who you would be...  Continue >>
Happy 29th Birthday Micheal   / Mom (Mom)
As each year passes and I learn to cope and live with the loss of you a little better, my notes here get shorter. Not because I miss you any less, or I think of you less often...but because I as time goes on I learn to live with my regrets, my “shoul...  Continue >>
6 Years...  / Mom (Mother)    Read >>
A gift from Micheal's friend Jami...  / Mom (Mother)    Read >>
5 Years...  / Mom Fisher (Mother)    Read >>
My Fifth Christmas Without Him  / Mom Fisher (Mother)    Read >>
Happy 27th Birthday Micheal  / Mom (Mother)    Read >>
4 Years  / Mom (Mother)    Read >>
26th Birthday  / Mom     Read >>
With love  / Jacqui Pollock (none)    Read >>
sorry / Jacqui Pollock (none)    Read >>
3 years now...  / Mom (Mom)    Read >>
More tributes and condolences...
Click here to pay tribute or offer your condolences
His legacy
Please Ask  

Someone asked me about you today.
It's been so long since anyone has done that.
It felt so good to talk about you,
to share my memories of you,
to simply say your name out loud.
She asked me if I minded talking about
what happened to you —
or would it be too painful to speak of it.
I told her I think of it every day
and speaking about it helps me to release
the tormented thoughts whirling around in my head.
She said she never realized the pain
would last this long.
She apologized for not asking sooner.
I told her, "Thanks for asking."
I don't know if it was curiosity
or concern that made her ask,
But told her, "Please do it again sometime —
soon."

— Barbara Taylor Hudson

Please See Me Through My Tears  


You asked, "How are you doing?"
As I told you, tears came to my eyes...and you
looked away and quickly began to talk again.
All the attention you had given me had drained away.
"How am I doing?" I do better when people listen, though I may shed a tear or two.
This pain is indescribable.
If you've never known it, you
cannot fully understand.
Yet I need you.
When you look away,
I am again alone with it.
Your attention means more than you can ever know.
Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know!
They're nature's way of helping me to heal.
They relieve some of the stress of sadness
....but you are wrong.
The memory of my loved one's death will always be with me,
Only a thought away.
My tears make my pain more visible to you, but you did not
give me the pain...it was already there.
When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless,
Not knowing what to do?
You are not helpless,
And you don't need to do a thing but be there.
When I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow,
you've helped me
You need not speak. Your silence as I cry is all I need.
Be patient...do not fear.
Listening with your heart to "how I am doing" relieves the pain
for when the tears can freely come and go, I feel lighter.
Talking to you releases what I've wanted to say aloud,
clearing space
for a touch of joy in my life.
I'll cry for a minute or two... and then I'll wipe my eyes
and sometimes you'll even find I'm laughing later.
When I hold back the tears, my throat grows tight,
my chest aches, my stomach knots...
because I'm trying to protect YOU from my tears.
Then we both hurt ME, because my pain is held inside,
a shield against our closeness and YOU,
because suddenly we are distant.
So please, take my hand and see me through my tears...
then we can be close again.
Author Unknown

The Decision  
Thanks, Mom, for your decision,
I’m really proud of you.
For you did something wonderful,
You knew I’d want you to.

We come to this earth to show love,
And to give as much as we can.
You made the decision to give part of me,
Knowing I’d help my fellow man.

I know that sometimes there’s still sadness,
And you really miss seeing me.
Know that I’m always with you,
Just not physically.

You wear the green ribbon pin proudly,
And love for someone to ask.
To tell they your son was a donor
Is part of you work and task.

Mom, where I am now is wonderful,
It’s beautiful, I don’t have a care.
Remember, don’t take your organs and tissue to heaven,
Cause we don’t need them there.

Author: Joy Curnutt (with inspiration by Jason, November 26, 1974 to April 11, 1999)
The Cord  
We are connected,
My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.
It's not like the cord
That connects us 'til birth
This cord can't be seen
By any on Earth.
This cord does it's work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.
I know that it's there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.
The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed
It can't be denied.
It's stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.
And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.
It pulls at my heart
I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.
I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can't take it away!

-author unknown
My Heart For Yours  
I miss you so much Micheal... On one hand I ask myself where the time has gone, and on the other, I ask myself, how much time will it take to heal my broken heart?  But it will never truly heal... too many of the shattered pieces are gone...you took them with you.

Time is such a relative thing isn't it?  When I was waiting for you to arrive it seemed to go so slowly, yet once you were born, 22 years flew by in what seemed like the blink of an eye.  One minute you were my tiny baby boy who filled the void in my soul that I didn't really even know was there. In the next blink of an eye, I was putting you on the school bus for your first day of school...wishing I could follow the bus, just to make sure you got there safely.  Before I knew it I was dancing with you at your public school graduation, and then I just barely had time to turn around and you were graduating from high school.  Where did all that time go? If I could re-live all of those years again, I would live them so s l o w l y this time. I took it for granted that you would always be here, and so I let time slip through my hands like sand through my fingers, not really paying attention to how precious each and every moment was.

Now, although day to day my life seems to move agonizingly slowly, I can't believe a year has gone by that you have been gone. How is that possible? Every heartbreaking day that I wake up and remember that you are gone, seems like an eternity... and when I look ahead to the rest of my life with you gone it feels like time without end. And yet, it has taken me by surprise that a year has gone by already.  

It's strange isn't it, that when you were here, I thought about you every day - wondering how you were doing when I hadn't spoken to you in a couple of days, worrying if you were eating enough, wondering if you were dressing warmly enough for working out in the elements - but I certainly didn't think of you constantly, all day. Now you are part of my every waking moment. No matter how busy I am, no matter where I am or what I am doing, if you are not directly in the front of my thoughts, you are always at the peremeter, not very far away... just within my peripheral awareness.  

I would give anything that is within my rights and ability to give, to have you back Micheal.  My heart, my soul, my life and my next life... just to bring you back. But then I think to myself, if living this agony every day for the rest of my life means you don't have to, that you'll never have to know the pain of losing me - who you said was everything to you... well, then for you, I sacrifice my heart in place of yours.

I love you so much baby. "as big as the sky...as big as the universe... infinity and then more." I miss you more than I have words to say.  Every single moment, with every single breath... 

With all the love in my heart,
BB,
Mom
More of his legacy...
 
Micheal's Photo Album
Missing you isn't the problem
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